First of all, I want to thank everyone who has been a part of my constant learning process, and without realizing it, you have made me come up with this idea. To those of you who have given me a hand to arrive at the highest point or those who have given it to drag me through the mud, thank you, I’m continually developing because of you.
A year before, everything was going very fast, wildly intense. For a long time, I was working, traveling, meeting new people from all over, going to parties, art residencies, symposiums, and training like there’s no tomorrow. Sleeping badly, studying at the last minute and carrying everything I could, and more.
Many experiences passed through both my mind and my body so fast that it was actually difficult to retain. I didn’t assimilate it. I didn’t look one step back, just leaped to the following and continued to the next. – What’s next? – My soul was asking all the time, and I didn’t heed too much. I was eager for new stuff.
However, I started to feel a little listless, to feel less joy, less pain. Snugly in a disengaged state of mind no matter what. Maybe all of this made me stronger.
In January, after a pretty singular summer and an absolutely unusual fall, I moved to Berlin. It was supposed to be only for three months in an art residency (GlogauAIR, our castle during the first lockdown, in the middle of Kreuzberg, not bad). I am writing these rows in my apartment on Skalitzer Str. tho. Okay, Berlin. Hearing fireworks, ambulance sirens (you should be here to verify that this sound pops your ears), and shouts of people in the street. Someone told me that Berliners loves firecrackers on New Year’s Eve.
Almost a year.
Almost a year where everything has been slowed down, interrupted, suspended, postponed, rescheduled. And I was forced, like everyone else, to put the brakes on myself. And is it weird, isn’t it? How I have felt misplaced when I’ve had more time to evaluate, to become aware, and be consistent with my conclusions. Being more reflective, I’ve had more doubts than ever, more ramblings. I have not seen anything clear where before I directly went for it. The deadlines have been extended, sentiments have been further away, life has made a parenthesis. Society turns on the standby mode and allowed us to consider everything we were doing. And that hurts, that disrupts your thoughts, that gradually consumes what you previously expected.
A year later, I’m spending much more time alone than ever, and I’ve started to write alongside my artistic work to understand, explain, share knowledge, and investigate. And I don’t want to be an isolated voice because I wish to take advantage of this space to involve colleagues, friends, and work partners. Welcome them to participate in this project, and chat, with openness, about the issues that stimulate or motivate us to create, and we’ve never had time before to sit together in front of them. Process, analyze and expand thoughts, develop ideas, define and question ourselves, build community, and honestly talk.
This project wants to establish communication, describing and documenting some ideas and processes of the artworks. From emotions, relationships, or personal experiences to art theories, philosophy, or science. That will be an open space to traverse our thoughts and be conscious of how we live the present, how we look at our near past and our near future, in this amazing contemporary society.
All my best wishes, take care and have fun.
Happy new year 2021.
Sònia Toneu 